Second String Mascot

The Huntsville Stars, the Double A affiliate for the Milwaukee Brewers, have offered possibly retired pitcher and suspected steroid user Roger Clemens a job. From their open letter to the three-time Cy Young award winner:

We are the Double-A Affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers and are located in Huntsville, Alabama . . . .

We have already designed a new logo for the Huntsville Stars that now includes a rocket (top of page). Since everybody this side of Venus knows you as the ‘Rocket,’ we would like to offer you the position of our team’s official secondary mascot, ‘Rocket.’ As ‘Rocket,’ you will dress as an astronaut and simply interact with fans and assist in on-field promotions during our 70-game home schedule when the primary mascot, Homer the Polecat, is not available.

We firmly believe that you would be a great addition to our organization and are willing to move forward in the negotiation process as soon as possible. Although the position isn’t the most lucrative in Minor League Baseball, we will guarantee that you’ll have the most fun of any team with which you’ve been employed. In addition to your $25 per game, you will receive meal vouchers redeemable at the concession stands for one hotdog and one soft drink each night, and a 15% employee discount at our team’s souvenir store, The Backstop Shop.