Friday, December 14, 2007

Your 2000 World Champion.... New York Mets

Today's post is brought to you by Seth Oilman, who offers his thoughts following the release of the Mitchell Report. For those who don't know Seth, he's some-what of a Mets fan.

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By Seth Oilman

Coming off today's news where a sizeable portion of the 2000 New York Yankees appeared in the Mitchell Report.... For those scoring at home Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Mike Stanton, Denny Neagle, Jason Grimsley, David Justice, Chuck Knoblauch, Jose Canseco and Glenallen Hill- 9 of the 25 active 2000 New York Yankees (36%) have been implicated in the Mitchell Report, so with help of a friend, I did a personalized Elias Sports Bureau study into the performance of these players vs. the other Yankees playing in the series and came away with some ineteresting findings.

1) Half of the post-season Yankee pitchers in 2000 were using steroids against the Mets, and they threw 65% of the innings of the 2000 World Series

2) Users: 30.7 innings, 1.47 ERA, Non-users: 16.3 innings, 4.97 ERA

3) In the 4 Yankee wins, a steroid user was the starting pitcher. In the one Mets win, a non-steroid user (El Duque) was the Yankees starter.

4) Game 2 starter, Roger Clemens, threw a sawed off bat at Mike Piazza in the 1st inning- behavior commonly referred to as "roid rage"

5) Steroid user Mike Stanton played a key role in 3 Yankee wins in this series AND does not allow a baserunner the entire series.

Need more? Game-by-game analysis:

Game 1: Andy Pettitte pitches 6.2 shutout innings, staked to a 2-0 lead thanks to a double scoring two by steroid user David Justice, and is relieved by non-user Jeff Nelson with two out and two on in the 7th. Torre should have gone to roid user Stanton, because Nelson allows 3 runs with two out, giving the Mets a 3-2 lead. The Yankees tie it in the 9th with an RBI sacrifice fly by steroid user Chuck Knoblauch. Then, the suddenly invincible roid user Mike Stanton keeps the Mets at bay with a perfect 11th and 12th and Jose Vizcaino wins it in the 12th on a dying quail to LF.

Game 2: Clemens dominates, only interruption is his roid rage out mentioned above and leaves after 8 with a 6-0 lead and allowing only 2 hits. in the 9th, Torre trusts non steroid users, Jeff Nelson and Mariano Rivera to close it out, but the Mets score 5 on Mike Piazza and Jay Payton HRs and Todd Zeile threatens to tie the game with a 389 ft fly out to the top of the wall in left-center. (I guess Torre should have kept the roid freak Clemens or brought in the suddenly Hulkish Stanton here too?)

Game 3: No roid pitchers available, Mets win 4-2!

Game 4: Nowin a tight series, Torre comes back with steroid user Denny Neagle to start the critical 4th game.Neagle keeps the Mets locked down untilthe roid-proof Mike Piazza, who can not be stopped by cheaters hits a home rundeep into the Flushing night to make it 3-2. The Mets get the tying runaboard with one out, posied to tie the score in the 7th, when the suddenly invincible Mike Stanton, two years after beingdiscareded by BOTH Atlanta and Boston, strikes out the next two batters. Rivera comes in with 2IP to close it out.

Game 5: Mets magic gets to roid abuser Andy Pettitte as the Mets take a 2-1 leadwith someMets magic-an Al Leiter bunt base hit,a throwingerror and a Benny Agbayani RBI single.With the score tied at 2 in the 8th, you guessed it- Mike Stanton comes in and pitches a 1-2-3 inning to allow the Yankees to come up and win it with 2 in the top of the 9th.


Now this is strictly entertianment here. I don't believe the Yankees should lose their 4 WS titles, but I do think we are well within out rights to point these details out to Yankee fans next time we are harassed at a bar about the 2000 World Series.The Yankees won it- thanks to the help of 9 steroid userswho played integral roles in ALL 4 WS wins. One last note, the Mets are not innocent either- they did have two users themselves, Todd Pratt and Matt Franco. They had no hits in 3 at-bats :)

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good stuff, Friend of Harris.

The Laughing Heir said...

until we know the exact number and identity of the players, it's all speculation. simply because certain players were revealed does not mean there weren't players using in the series that haven't been outed. you're too smart to be naive enough to think the mets were somehow cleaner than the yanks. they're all meatheads contaminated our pure game. (you're just pissed you were outnumbered at 4206 knox road)

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